In celebration of their collective birthdays, the girls give each other the gift of dates with eligible men. Recap: The episode begins with Tori hearing sirens of the police and Elka gets scared it seems. Joy asks if the police are after Elka. The sirens go away and Elka asks “What police?” Melanie informs that their birthdays are coming up and Elka asks how it is possible that they have a birthday on the same day. Tori tells that they moved their birthdays on the same day for fun because birthdays are always a dreaded sign that you are getting old. They start to think of what to give each other. Elka suggests that they get each other dates for birthday presents. Melanie says that they will draw names. Elka informs “No fatties” for her. Elka draws and gets Tori, Melanie gets Elka, Joy gets Melanie, and Tori gets Joy. The next scene shows the ladies sitting at a table and are waiting for their dates that each gave them to show up. Max comes in and tells Elka that she is prettier in person and takes Elka away to a separate table. Tori enters and has forgotten to get a date for Joy. She picks up a guy named Steve and pays him $200 to go on a date with Joy. She tells that he is going to say that he is an Architect. A man walks in and both Melanie and Tori like what they see. The man walks up to Tori. Max and Elka are getting to know each other and they talk about their medications and places they like to go. Meanwhile, Melanie is still waiting for her blind date to show up and tells the waitress about how she is just out of a divorce and the waitress gets impatient and tells that she just wanted to ask if she needs a fork. Melanie’s date shows up behind her and dry heaves when he sees her. He tries to recover but talking about her face, he dry heaves again. Offended, Melanie tells that maybe it is not a good idea. But he tells that Melanie looks exactly like his dead wife and that is why he was sick to his stomach. She still feels that it is a bad idea but he pleads with Melanie to let this happen. Tori is on her date and she is confident that she won the best looking guy. He takes off his jacket and he has man boobs! Tori is a little embarrassed. He introduces himself as Chester. Back with Elka and Max, Elka tells that she is a great driver and drives slow to mess with people. Max likes what he sees and pops the marriage question to Elka. She agrees to it and says that they have everything in common and why not. Joy is hitting it off nicely with her date and he is saying all the right things based on what Tori told him. Meanwhile, Melanie’s date is telling her to put her hair up a little to remind himself of his dead wife. Tori is still distracted about Chester’s man boobs. Melanie and Tori talk about their dates and Tori tells that her date has man boobs. Melanie laughs and Steve walks up and orders champagne for him and Joy. Melanie compliments Tori’s choice. But then a murder suspect picture appears on the television set at the bar and the picture is identical to Steve. Melanie finds out that Tori paid him $200 to go out with Joy and Melanie calls the hot-line on the screen and they tell her to keep Steve there. Tori and Melanie get rid of their dates. Tori tells Chester to buy a girl, who thinks that he is attractive, a drink and not to take off his jacket ever. Melanie tells her date that he is not ready and that their date is over. But he tells that since Melanie looks so much like his dead wife, he never said goodbye to her. She lets him and he asks to give her a kiss on the cheek. He tries to press his luck and asks if he could make love with her and she tells him to get out of there. Elka enters and Melanie and Tori tell that they are in the middle of a crisis. Elka tells that she is engadged and the girls are happy for her. Melanie tells that Joy is on a date with a murder suspect. Elka says that she is conflicted. Joy comes over and wants to know why Tori and Melanie are acting strange. Tori comes clean about paying Steve to go out with her. She is upset. Tori tells that he is a murderer too. Steve comes over and tells that his van is outside. She panics and they try to get Steve to have dessert with them. Elka sprays Steve with pepper spray and wants to talk about her engagement. Back at home, Steve was not a murderer and it was mistaken identity. Tori is sorry and is sorry that Joy was happy that Tori did something. Joy forgives her but Tori, unwillingly, gives her diamond bracelet as her gift. Melanie asks Elka if she has set a date for the wedding yet. Elka tells that her engagement is over and tells that she was having problems with Max. She tells that Max is great accept he would not go “downtown”. The girls are shocked to hear that from her but then Elka tells that there are good restaurants downtown to eat at. The girls laugh. Max knocks on the door and tells Elka that he doesn’t want to loose Elka and is willing to give going “downtown” a try. He tells that he doesn’t want to get lost down there and that it is so dark and scary. Elka tells that she will show him the way. The girls toast to a Happy Birthday after all.
Elenco: Jane Leeves , Betty White , Wendie Malick , Valerie Bertinelli , Jay Harrington , Valerie Bertinelli , Wendie Malick .